u never know

Friday, September 02, 2005

Nowadays, with the rising popularity in blogs, u never know who is reading your blog. sometimes the thought of who might be reading my blog is scary, especially cos I bitch and complain big time in my blog.


I will die if ever any of my colleagues found out about my blog. There was once when I was lunching with a colleague, she was reading TODAY paper and there was an article on blogs written by mr miyagi. And colleague, asked me: what is a blog? for that split moment, my heart skipped a beat and cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I was terrified and was debating with myself whether I should answer her or act blur and pretend that the word is alien to me too or tell her that a blog is a new burger flavour.


In the end I briefly explained to her what a blog is and I prayed that she will keep her mouth shut there and wont ask me the question that I fear most she will ask : DO YOU HAVE A BLOG??. Thank god she was happy with my explanation and carried on reading her newspaper. If she ever asked, I will at all cost deny about the existence of clatzz.blogspot.com. For she is the last last last person I want to read my blog and I will die if she ever did read it. Cause I have a lot of entries dedicated to her and its all complains and bitchings about her.


I once read on a blog about this gal, who chanced upon her frens blog and her fren wrote something nasty about her, something like she feel she is very flirty (I cant really remember). And she felt hurt and betrayed. She felt as if her fren is bad mouthing her and stabbing her behind her back.


Seriously, is bitching about people considered bad mouthing? I often bitch about my colleagues and friends in my blog but in real life I am joke with them, hang out with them. Does that makes me a hypocrite?


If ever one day, I happen to find a friends blog and found that he/she is writing nasty things about me on their blog, I dunno how I will take it. Will I :

a) read and then forget since the blog is supposed to be unknown to me so I shall treat it as I never knew of its existence
b) confront my fren
C) pretend that I never read his/her blog before and secretly bear a grudge??


I think I will choose option a.


Since this person never give me his/her blog address, this clearly means that he/she clearly do not want me to read the contents of the blog.


In my case, I think that a blog is like a personal space for me to express myself freely. A lot of times I complain in my blog about the people around me. To me this is just an outlet to let out my grousing, and I can actually live with it jus that I abit bey song but after time will be ok. I never complain to the person in question cause I think that those are small issues and I dun wanna let these issues affect our friendship.


And a lot of times, I think our frustrations are magnified when we write them out. Like example:


Fren broke up with bf and was very upset. Everyday call to su ku. As a friend of cause I am more than willing to lend a listening ear but after some time (say 7 days of continuous sobbing and crying to you) u will also feel bored right? But still that does not mean that you are any less willing to listen to her.


So in your blog, u write:

Wah lau eh, xxx call me everyday and grumble abt her break up. Bey tahan sial. I hope she can get out of this rut soon. I can foresee a huge increase in my hp bill next mth, :(


But actually u really meant:
I hope she can get out of this rut soon.


All the extra words are only magnifying your feelings. Cause I think when you pen out your thoughts, you tend to use stronger and harsher words. Well, that is at least true for me.


So... If you are reading my blog and u know me and you think im complaining about you, you can be rest assured im NOT. I still love you. You are still my friend.


But if you really mind reading complains about urself, please let me know subtly that you have discovered my blog, and I shall refrain from complaining about you here. I will set up another blog and bitch about you there. Haha.

Clatzz reflected on 10:43 AM