not happy

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Hmmm, have been feeling rather out of sorts lately. Whats wrong with me?? Mood swing?? Hmmm.

Matt has to rush a report on to be handed in today. He stayed at my house on Monday night to do the report until 5 in the morning and then went to sleep on the sofa. His plan was to sleep for awhile then go back to his office to continue with the report but I think he is too tired so he slept till 10. When I left home, he was still sleeping and I know how tired he was and so I could not bear to wake him up. But my momo was showing me face again. Thankfully the issue is settled after a few nags from her.

Yesterday was supposed to have dinner at home with matt but he was asked to go UE square to help out at the last minute. So I had to go home and eat dinner alone, and have to eat extra big portions else dad and momo will complain that we ask them to cook and dun wanna eat.
Sigh, seems like recently dad is going through menopause. He will be unhappy for no reason. Yesterday, he told momo he dun wanna cook dinner for us anymore. Then momo says its my fault cause I did not wash the dishes. But I have always washed my dishes. There was only once I forget to wash, and that is on New Year eve. Then she said its because I did not wash the pots. But most of time there are still vegetables left though me and matt have eaten our share. So definitely I will leave the pots there so that in case whomever come back can eat if they are hungry. It has always been this way in my house and now they are blaming dad bad mood on me. Sis did not even keep her bowls and plates after she ate. She just leave the plates on the table. I washed my own dishes and they say its my fault. So I told mum, fine, since its ALL my fault, I will not eat at home anymore. Saves the trouble for everyone. Blood hell man.

Was very busy yesterday too. Went to NCC in the morning and SOC and SPF in the afternoon. My baton sample submitted to SOC was rejected. Shit. I spent so much time designing the turnable holder and now the person tell me its not what they want. Well, what can I say. Bloody waste of my time. Then when I came back to office, johnny was nagging that rapport building with my customers and I should try to build my rapport with them and this and that. Says that it is something he cannot teach me, I have to figure out myself. Bloody shit man, I also know rapport with my customers is important. And since he cannot even give me any advice on how to do it, then what right do you have to CBCB?? I am trying, I am still figuring out how. If you cannot help then just SHUT UP!! Shit man. Bloody shit.

And recently matt is stress with his new stores too. When he calls, he will just complain to me how many things he has to rush out and this and that, and tell me things about his store, about sns.

I am really not happy. Not happy with my family, not happy with my work.

Clatzz reflected on 2:27 PM